I’m Your Friend Who Just Doesn’t “Do Politics”

Look, we’ve known each other for how many years now? You remember how we met, of course. We’re current or former work colleagues whose kids go to school or play sports together or some other extracurricular activity, so we connected on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and in our book club.

The point is, we’re friends. So we can talk about a lot of things, but not politics. Anyway, what do you think of Anthony Fauci not answering questions about how he worked directly with China to spread COVID and hurt Donald Trump in the election? Isn’t politics messy? That’s why I stay away from it.

I just have other interests, I guess, apart from politics. Did I tell you I’m working with the PTA in the school library to remove any books with objectionable content as I define it? It’s actually pretty easy to spot. Books with CRT, DEI, Woke, Cultural Marxism, themes like anything authored by, or picturing a non-white person as a character. We just remove the books and can dispose of them during the welcome-back barbecue this fall.

Ugh, politics—can’t stand it. It just makes people angry. That’s why I focus on my library work instead, you know?

I tend to just cherish our town and not have to think about all the problems those big blue cities have, I’m told, allegedly, I imagine. I’m glad we don’t have to worry about politics. It’s just that I still am deeply concerned about the management of New York City, a place I’ve never visited and have no connection to at all. But a Muslim socialist? No, thank you.

Let’s just stay on friendlier topics. Like the weather, that’s a safe one. Man, what a wild year, huh? Extreme freezing over the winter, and heavy record rainfall and flooding this spring. Now the historic drought and sizzling heat have made this a brutal summer, especially with all those terrible wildfires and smoke ruining air quality. All those Elon and Trump budget cuts make the weather kind of a fun surprise since there is such a dramatic reduction in forecasting, preparedness, and emergency alerts. Thank goodness there is still money available to help Americans recover from these disasters, so long as the affected community aligns politically with the president.

Listen, I like keeping my attention glued to the real America. Where I don’t have to think about politics. Are you taking a vacation this year? We would, but the cost of gas and groceries has skyrocketed with this war in Iran and all these new tariffs Trump imposed. The cost of living is absolutely crazy right now. This is why I don’t do politics. It’s just so unpleasant.