MOM: I’m going to the front desk. I want to embarrass our adult children. DAD: I was just there to do exactly that by getting a ridiculous number of washcloths that we won’t use. MOM: Perfect. I’ll as...
The following prompts were submitted to an image-generation service over the course of a century. The user has since been suspended. Prompt 1 Create a timeless late-Victorian oil painting of the most ...
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE EXTREME HEAT ALERT ///BULLETIN BEGINS/// … ALERT… ALERT… ALERT… … BE ADVISED: EXTREME HEAT AND HUMIDITY POSE SEVERE RISKS TO HEALTH AND CRITICAL INFRASTRUCTURE ACROSS THE REGI...
“How sure are we that she’s dead? Should we double-check just to be safe? I know for a fact that she would not want to be buried alive.” “My dog wasn’t chill with anyone, but he was chill with her.” “...
How do I like a profile? Please highlight what you like and add a query. How do I dislike a profile? Please use track changes. What if I disliked a profile by accident? Write “stet.” Are you hiring fr...
Dear Ted Lasso, With your new season coming out, I thought you’d like some storyline advice from a non-Emmy-winning, suicide-surviving, journaling-through-the-pain, amateur writer mom. We can be pent-...
“For a fee of up to $100,000 a month, trading firms can access ‘Truth API’ to get a glimpse of the president’s often market-moving announcements about economic policy and global affairs before the res...
You’ve Always Been This Way is a column written by Taylor Harris, a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman and 1980s preschool dropout, who identifies every moment from her past that filled her with sham...
He steals from the rich to give to the poor, which sounds generous until you learn what he steals. The people of Sherwood do not need six unmatched salt shakers, twenty-three hotel towels, or a bag of...
Dear Astral Skye Data Center Workers, When A-Skye first took possession of four thousand acres of your town’s land to build an AI facility the size of three thousand football fields, it gave some of y...
Steer Clear When spotting another American in a foreign country, your first instinct is usually the correct one: run in the opposite direction. Like you, this person has come here to blot out, even if...