This is 74: Mountaineer, Conductor, Painter and more Dierdre Wolownick Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Sometimes you’ll find responses from writers, musicians, and artists you’ve heard of—like John Irving, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Pierson, Neko Case, Rosie O’Donnell, Ava Duvernay, Jerry Saltz, Lucy Sante, Tom Junod, Ricki Lake, Hilma Wolitzer, Elizabeth Gilbert, Judith Viorst, Cheryl Strayed, Deesha Philyaw, Chloe Caldwell, etc.—but more often it will be people (of all ages) you haven’t heard of, Humans of New York-style. (Check out all the Oldster interviews…)

Here, multi-hyphenate (rock climber, author, conductor, tour guide, publisher, public speaker and so much more) responds. -Sari Botton

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Dierdre Wolownick’s award-winning writing is published worldwide, and her books have won 17 awards. For 44 years, she taught 5 foreign languages on 3 continents, and has been an independent publisher, international speaker (in 4 languages), tour guide, marathoner, rock climber, artist (painter), airline personnel (Air France) and more. She founded and created the West Sacramento Community Orchestra, which she conducted for 4 years, and through it all, has been a performing musician (piano, flute, others). She is the mother of two extreme athletes, one of whom is Alex Honnold, of the Oscar-winning film Free Solo.

In 2017, she became the oldest woman to scale Yosemite’s El Capitan, and the first feature-length documentary about her, Climbing Into Life, won 13 awards at film festivals across the U.S. and will soon be available to the public. The second documentary feature about her, Au Pied du Mur / Inner Walls, was just released in Montréal and throughout Québec, and will soon play in Las Vegas. Her memoir, The Sharp End of Life, is now published in five languages, and her latest book, Success in 7 Steps, which has won 3 awards, distills all her successes into a simple, how-to method that anyone of any age or gender can follow, to finally achieve their dream goal.

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How old are you?

74

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?

20. Because at that age I lived for a year in France (did my third year of university there), and that’s when I really started to live and be aware. (I was raised in a very repressive, controlling household.)

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

In step with “my peers”? Not sure what that means. Most of my new friends (I recently moved to a new state) are younger than me. Age doesn’t matter, so “peers” just means people I associate with. Yes, I’m “in step” with them.

It’s only while you’re in school that you’re “locked in” to being only with people your own age. After we’re done with school, age doesn’t matter anymore.

As to the first part of your question, I’m not sure what “old for my age” means. I don’t feel old.

What do you like about being your age?

Not being dead. Still enjoying life!

I’ve never understood why people prefer being one age or another. We learn so much as we go through any/every age. Why deny any of it its importance? So I guess my ‘favorite’ age would be the one I’m in now.

What is difficult about being your age?

Every age has difficult parts. Now, at my age, the difficulties are mostly physical. And I’m guessing that, as I get even older, I will begin losing more friends and family. My father always used to talk about that, in his 90s. The longer you live, the lonelier you get, simply because those you knew are gone. I’ve been feeling that lately; I’m from a huge extended family, and now we’re down to just a few.

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

I had no expectations. I was never told anything about getting old, or “being my age.” No one (the old people in my huge extended family) talked about it (except to bemoan their physical aches and pains). No one ever told us kids what it was like. And that lack of preconceptions, or “pre-programming,” is mostly due to the fact that we didn’t have screens yelling at us, telling us what to think about everything, about every age, about every new drug. We just lived and made up our own minds.

Although I had no expectations, we (the kids) had lots of examples of what “getting old” meant. When a man retired (women in my old-world milieu rarely worked outside the home, except as teachers, nurses or secretaries), he stopped working, stopped being productive, basically stopped living and just waited to die. Even as a little kid, I knew that was wrong. I decided, very young, that I would never do that.

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

It has given me perspective, which in turn grants wisdom (if you allow it). The only thing it has “taken away” is the physicality of life. I can no longer bend my knees completely, which affects so many things I’d like to do!! I can no longer read without glasses. Etc. And, of course, it has taken away many of the people I’d love to talk with again.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

Not sure what you mean by this. I’m still the same person I’ve always been. My person, my identity has never been tied to age. Age is meaningless; I knew that when I was 4 and following all the older neighborhood boys up the trees and onto the garage roofs. I still believe it, as I go rock climbing with my younger friends.

Age is a social construct; you can accept it or reject it. This is, of course, a health-bound concept; if you suffer from a horrible or crippling disease, obviously things will be different for you. But all things being equal, age plays no role except in how many candles to buy for your birthday cake.

Every age has difficult parts. Now, at my age, the difficulties are mostly physical. And I’m guessing that, as I get even older, I will begin losing more friends and family. My father always used to talk about that, in his 90s. The longer you live, the lonelier you get, simply because those you knew are gone. I’ve been feeling that lately; I’m from a huge extended family, and now we’re down to just a few.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

Again, if you don’t watch television (I haven’t had tv in the house in over 40 years) and don’t engage with other tech screens, there are no “expectations.” I’ve hit most of the “life points” most people consider milestones, I guess—got an education, got married, had kids, own houses, etc.

My future “milestones” are probably different from those of most people. I want to go back to the Dolomites and climb more. I want to go speak in more countries (I’ve spoken in 9 so far, in 4 languages). I want to publish more books. Get back to running road races. Get back to musical performance. So many things!!... Is that what you meant by “milestones”?

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

I’ve never understood why people prefer being one age or another. We learn so much as we go through any/every age. Why deny any of it its importance? So I guess my ‘favorite’ age would be the one I’m in now.

Would I go back to any previous age? Probably not…. Maybe my “middle age,” but just so that I could get more done! Publish more books! Make more music. Conduct my orchestra in more places. Have more fun. But this age can be fun, too!

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

Never had an “aging idol.” I have read about various oldsters out there accomplishing things, like Jack LaLanne’s wife who, at 100 or so, is still running his business. People like that are definitely inspiring. But I don’t know any personally.

Watch the trailer for Climbing Into Life: The Dierdre Wolownick Story, which you can stream on Amazon Prime:

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

None. All of my adjustments lately have had nothing to do with style, beauty, health, etc. Last year I moved (alone) from northern California (Sacramento) to Las Vegas (where my grandkids live). Went from a huge house in a suburban neighborhood, with yards, pool, trees, etc, to a tiny house with no front door, no yards, no space. Talk about adjustments!!! Haven’t had time to be concerned with frivolous things like beauty, style, etc! Health, of course, is always important, but my health hasn’t changed much recently.

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

No idea. I haven’t slowed down at all, so I suppose that’s a refusal of an adjustment. I still go rock climbing, still go jogging, still play piano recitals, still write and publish. Still do speaking engagements. I’ve made tiny adjustments along the way, because of body parts failing, but nothing major so far. It might be inevitable…but I haven’t allowed my age to slow me down yet.

Would I go back to any previous age? Probably not…. Maybe my “middle age,” but just so that I could get more done! Publish more books! Make more music. Conduct my orchestra in more places. Have more fun. But this age can be fun, too!

What turn of events had the biggest impact on your life? What took your life in a different direction, for better or worse?

My unfortunate, abusive marriage tops that list. Changed my life completely, in every way, too long to talk about here (that could be another book!) My junior year of university in France. Also a dramatic change in so many (good) ways!!

What is your number one regret in life? If you could do it all over again, what is the biggest thing you’d do differently?

I try not to regret. Regret is a waste of time (you can’t change it, you might as well just learn from it and move on). And I’ve found that most things people regret also contain a modicum of benefit, too. We shouldn’t overlook those. My marriage is one of those. It was a major disaster, and lasted far too long (I had no choices, back then)… but it gave me two absolutely wonderful kids who are the light of my life! So I can’t “regret” it.

What is high up on your “bucket list?” What do you hope to achieve, attain, or plain enjoy before you die?

So many things!! I still want to publish my next non-fiction book. And my six-novel series of books. I’d love to do a TED Talk. I want to expand my speaking business. I want to climb again in the Dolomites, and in Japan (where I lived for years before I was a climber), and other places. I want to see the northern lights. I want to bicycle across France, and across Poland (both countries have an excellent system of bike trails across the whole country)…. I want to see what my grandchildren become in life. So many things!

I haven’t slowed down at all, so I suppose that’s a refusal of an adjustment. I still go rock climbing, still go jogging, still play piano recitals, still write and publish. Still do speaking engagements. I’ve made tiny adjustments along the way, because of body parts failing, but nothing major so far. It might be inevitable…but I haven’t allowed my age to slow me down yet.

Is there a piece of advice you were given, that you live by? If so, what was it, and who offered it to you?

No one ever shared advice with me, that I can recall. My parents always did encourage me to become a teacher, but that was what I wanted for myself, anyway. Not sure if that counts as advice.

What are your plans for your body when you’re done using it? Burial? Cremation? Body Farm? Other?

I want my body parts to be used fully by those who need them, and then the shell cremated.

What do you expect to happen to your “soul” or “spirit” after you die?

Jury is still out on that one. I suspect that that’s one question I’ll never be able to answer to my satisfaction….

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

Philosophy? What’s to philosophize about? You’re a year older. You made it around the sun again! Definitely worth celebrating, any way you like! For my birthdays, since 2011, I’ve always celebrated my birthday by climbing some outrageous rock wall with my son (Alex Honnold, of “Free Solo” and “Skyscraper”). There have been a few years in there when he was unavailable (mostly because of movie-related and/or speaking obligations), but this year we’re going to resume our tradition (I hope; he’s insanely busy these days!).

Check out all the Oldster interviews…

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