The Little Guy Who Throws Stuff Up

Between my wife and I, I’m the better bullshitter. “You can talk about anything with anyone,” she always says, “and keep talking for ages.” She, meanwhile, more frequently draws a blank when asked a question or runs out of topics with people. That doesn’t make me a better conversationalist, but it does mean I converse more—sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

We reflected on how conversation works. For one, when you’re talking, you don’t really have time to think. You can adjust your sentences here and there, but your speech is mostly unfiltered. Thinking, if any, happens in the breaks, and most of those goes to paying attention to what your conversation partners are saying. And yet, something does happen while we talk. It’s not like our brain turns off.

Whether your conversation keeps going or not depends, obviously, on what you say. But with little time to actively rummage in your memory and consciously decide what you want to point out next, where do new threads come from? Your subconscious.

“Imagine there’s a little guy or gal sitting in your stomach,” I explained my theory to my wife. “While you’re talking, he or she is constantly pulling stuff out of your subconscious and throwing it up. Unfortunately, most thoughts never make it. Only some do, and then only some of those will be relevant, let alone add more fuel to the fire that is an already sparking conversation.”

“If that’s true, it’s no wonder you can talk more and longer than me,” my wife said. “You know all this random stuff!” It’s true that I’ve been blessed with a good memory, and god knows it’s filled with fun facts and nostalgic trinkets. The more knowledge you have, general or otherwise, deep or superficial, the more material your inner conversation feeder has to work with. And since your subconscious is an efficient filter, each additional piece of information also increases the chances your little guy or gal will throw up a relevant tidbit for your latest chit-chat.

It’s far from the only part of being a good conversationalist, nor does it make each and every talk you have automatically rewarding, but: Even in the age of instant AI-answers for everything, there’s still a case to be made for general knowledge. There’ll always be real-time scenarios, and in those, having more access to facts and ideas can make all the difference—if only for letting you bullshit your way out of the room.