On Second Thoughts

Even in middle age, I still catch myself doing post-mortems every time I speak in public.

I don’t spiral the way I did when I was younger, but the quiet second-guessing remains: Did I say the right thing? At the right moment? In a way that people in the room understood?

I still haven’t managed to consistently tone down my immediate reactions. I wear them too visibly. What I really need is time to let the dust settle. My intuition is normally right, just too blunt. My final thoughts are almost always more nuanced & useful... and rarely a cause for regret.