Trillionaire, shmillionaire

From this morning’s Robinhood Snacks:

The ancient Egyptians believed that the measure of a person’s worth was calculated upon their death when Anubis, god of the afterlife, would weigh their heart against a feather to see if a heavy heart would be fed to Ammit, the Devourer of Souls. Here in America, we do things a little differently, where the measure of worth is the net present value of future cash flows, and in lieu of Anubis, we delegate that task to the market. As it stands now, by our ancient rites and customs, Elon Musk is the first trillion-dollar man.