They Might Be Giants gave me a bucket hat

We take our kid to some concert, like the Wiggles but it isn’t the Wiggles. That band does their thing and leaves, and then They Might Be Giants comes on! My wife and I are very excited. The kid is nonplussed.

(It’s funny because my wife actually doesn’t super care about TMBG, but anyway.)

TMBG play a few songs, and my kid wants to leave but they bring out that big stick that John womps on the ground. I don’t know the actual name of it but I say, “We can’t leave—look they have the Wompin’ Stick! We gotta see that!”

As the band is kind of setting up for the next song, John asks the audience some question. I answer him and he says, “Hey thanks, have this,” and tosses a coin. I try to catch it but can’t, so I bend down to find it.

It turns out that what I thought was a commemorative TMBG coin is actually a bunch of change. I start picking up all the change and John comes over to help. He says, “If you look under there there’s a —” and I think that’s going to be the commemorative coin, but no, he means a big half-dollar. There’s a few of them actually; this is a pretty big pile of change.

“It’s funny,” I say, “I’m going to have to get a baggie to put all this change in and write TMBG on it. I thought you were throwing, like, a commemorative coin, but this is funnier.”

I try telling him to go ahead back to the stage, I’ve got this handled, but he sticks around. I look up and he’s wearing a bucket hat. I compliment him on it and he says, “You want one?” I say yeah and he throws down a stack of bucket hats.

I start picking them up—I’ve got an armful of stuff now—and say, “Thanks—I’ve always wanted a bucket hat.” He says, “These are pretty cheap”, then to someone on stage, “How much were these?” He gets the answer and tells me, “These only cost us $1.95.”

I make some excuse about how I just haven’t got around to ordering one (the real reason is that my wife thinks I’d look very silly) and finish picking up my armload of stuff. I say thanks and head back to our seats, wearing one of my bucket hats.

I get up to the seats and ask my wife if she wants to join the Bucket Hat Brigade. She gives me a look.

Everyone is streaming out of the stadium now; the band stopped playing for a long time while John came down to help me with my change. I ask if we’re ready to go but my wife says, “No, I want to go down and dance on the stage, just for one song.”

But the band is packing up because everyone is leaving.