Letta vs Mem0 for self-hosted agent memory, or just stay on Vilix AI?

I keep going back and forth on agent memory. Option one is self-hosting, where I've narrowed it to Letta vs Mem0 since both have open source options. Option two is just staying on Vilix AI, which I already use daily over MCP across ChatGPT, Claude, and Cursor. It keeps one shared memory across everything and I maintain nothing by hand, which is honestly hard to give up. But for this project I like the idea of the data living on my own machines. So the real question: is self-hosting worth the operational pain, or am I romanticizing it? For those running Letta or Mem0 self-hosted, how bad is the setup and maintenance really? Any resource hogs or sharp edges? And do the self-hosted versions keep feature parity with cloud, or is that where they get you? Would appreciate real war stories over docs.