It's over, I thought I had a chance today but no

I checked my horoscope which confirmed I'll have some gains but ended up with a 70% loss trading 0 DTEs 3 minutes ago, I'm an international student and some of the money isn't even mine, it's my parents'. On facetime my mum looks at me with pride in her eyes. All I've done is fuck up over and over. I don't even feel alive right now. My master's program is coming to an end by the end of summer and all I have to show are fuck ups. I thought I learnt the lesson 3 months ago when the exact same thing happened.