This is 79: Classical Music Historian Nancy Shear Responds to The Oldster Questionnaire

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Sometimes you’ll find responses from writers, musicians, and artists you’ve heard of—like Ellen Burstyn, Kate Pierson, Neko Case, Rosie O’Donnell, Ava Duvernay, Jerry Saltz, Lucy Sante, magazine legend Tom Junod, Ricki Lake, Hilma Wolitzer, Elizabeth Gilbert, Judith Viorst, Cheryl Strayed, Deesha Philyaw, Chloe Caldwell, etc.—but more often it will be people (of all ages) you haven’t heard of, Humans of New York-style. (Check out all the Oldster interviews…)

Here, classical music librarian, lecturer, and author Nancy Shear responds. -Sari Botton

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“I stumbled upon the magazine a few months back. The writing consistently resonates as I make by way through this wild ride of aging. It encourages, motivates, commiserates…and makes me laugh often. Thank you for the effort!” - , paid subscriber.

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Nancy Shear’s remarkable background includes 20 years as an orchestra librarian, for the Philadelphia Orchestra and Curtis Institute, and privately for Leopold Stokowski, Lorin Maazel and other prominent musicians. Her articles have appeared in major outlets and, in addition to her memoir, I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms (2025), she is the author of the book, The Three Tenors (1998). Ms. Shear has presented lectures for the New York Philharmonic, Philadelphia Orchestra and Caramoor Festival; has hosted broadcasts of the New York Philharmonic, New Jersey Symphony, Frick Collection, and Naumburg Foundation; had her own programs on WNYC; and has done commentary for the American Public Media. She has taught at New York University’s School of Continuing Education, the Lillian Vernon Center for International Affairs at New York University, and has lectured at The Juilliard School, Manhattan School, and Mannes School of Music|The New School. Ms. Shear has also lectured on the life and work of Eleanor Roosevelt.

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How old are you?

A youthful 79.

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?

Age 12. That’s when I fully developed an awareness of what was important to me: writing; the arts, especially classical music (and Elvis); the life and legacy of Eleanor Roosevelt; and understanding and valuing cultures different from my own. I hope to keep the abundant wonder of that age alive in my mind.

I was told—and taught—that being older chronologically would restrict one’s sense of adventure and enthusiasm. It has not! I am aware, however, that younger people look at me as an older woman—an identity with which I don’t always identify.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

I am in step with friends my age (I have friends who are both younger and older than I am). Psychologically, I feel much younger—still adventurous and fun-loving. But physically, I don’t have the boundless energy I used to have.

What do you like about being your age?

I value the sense of history I possess, some learned, and much that I’ve experienced. I’ve written an unusual book about my life because I possess a rare historical perspective.

What is difficult about being your age?

Some of the physical limitations I experience, such as being restricted during last winter’s snowfall because of the danger of falling, is new and difficult. I would have liked being outside in the thick of the storm, as I have always been.

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

I was told—and taught—that being older chronologically would restrict one’s sense of adventure and enthusiasm. It has not! I am aware, however, that younger people look at me as an older woman—an identity with which I don’t always identify.

I felt pressure to pass on what I know to younger generations, so recently published my book—a long, arduous, and delightful process. I did not feel this pressure as acutely as I did about 15 years ago, when I began the writing process. I also returned to school to get my MFA when I was 65 years old. I had a choice of discounts—student, or senior citizen!

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

Getting older has provided a valuable perspective—that difficult situations often will work out. But the passing years have taken away the sense of a limitless future. I can now throw away unread papers without the feeling that I will need them in 20 or 30 years! That can be both liberating and depressing.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

I felt pressure to pass on what I know to younger generations, so recently published my book—a long, arduous, and delightful process. I did not feel this pressure as acutely as I did about 15 years ago, when I began the writing process. I also returned to school to get my MFA when I was 65 years old. I had a choice of discounts—student, or senior citizen!

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

I never married or had kids, so I don’t have the children or grandchildren milestones to anticipate. I must create my own! I don’t yet know what they will be, but I am always open to trying new experiences and ideas, and meeting new people.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

My favorite years were in my late teens and early 20s, when I had the remarkable experience of working with The Philadelphia Orchestra. I was among people who were much older than I, often by decades. I learned, from their example, that age does not have to restrict you.

Health issues are not easy; I am in possession of something I’ve never had: an aging body! My philosophy used to be: “Always say yes!” which I can no longer do because of lowered energy. But I will do as much as I am able for as long as I can.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

I have a close friend who is nine years my senior, and lives life fully and creatively. Her outlook is vibrant, optimistic and realistic. There is no age gap between us, other than chronologically. I also have neighbors who, in their mid-90s, think about the future as much as the past.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

I was indoors for the recent New York City blizzard, because of the real concern about falling. (I did, however, buy a pair of snow cleats for the next storm.) But health issues are not easy; I am in possession of something I’ve never had: an aging body! My philosophy used to be: “Always say yes!” which I can no longer do because of lowered energy. But I will do as much as I am able for as long as I can.

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

I refuse to get depressed or bitter, and I hope that attitude will continue.

What turn of events had the biggest impact on your life? What took your life in a different direction, for better or worse?

I grew up in a small row house in a Philadelphia suburb but even at a young age, I knew there was a bigger world out there. Getting a job for the Philadelphia Orchestra (which, at age 17, I had engineered on my own; that’s discussed in my memoir) opened up that world, physically and figuratively. I began to travel and become involved in global events.

My favorite years were in my late teens and early 20s, when I had the remarkable experience of working with The Philadelphia Orchestra. I was among people who were much older than I, often by decades. I learned, from their example, that age does not have to restrict you.

What is your number one regret in life? If you could do it all over again, what is the biggest thing you’d do differently?

I have done my very best all my life, so I don’t have regrets. I’ve learned that we regret what we haven’t done more than what we have done.

What is high up on your “bucket list?” What do you hope to achieve, attain, or plain enjoy before you die?

I live in New York City, a place I fell in love with when I was 12. I’ve had to work extremely hard, under great pressure, since moving here 45 years ago. Now I hope to be able to play tourist here more than I’ve done in the past, and to write at least two more books, one of short stories, and another for kids.

Is there a piece of advice you were given, that you live by? If so, what was it, and who offered it to you?

Eleanor Roosevelt has been an inspirational, spiritual figure for me since I was 7 or 8 years old. She talked a lot about fear, which she personally fought all her life, and that has been a great help to me. She once made a comment about fear; to paraphrase: “Sometimes our fear isn’t as important as what we have to say.” I extend that, because of her example, to include “what we have to do.” And all of us, young or old, can make a difference; we can be activists as well as role models for younger generations.

I live in New York City, a place I fell in love with when I was 12. I’ve had to work extremely hard, under great pressure, since moving here 45 years ago. Now I hope to be able to play tourist here more than I’ve done in the past, and to write at least two more books, one of short stories, and another for kids.

What are your plans for your body when you’re done using it? Burial? Cremation? Body Farm? Other?

I took care of my mother most of my life. When she died, I arranged for both of us to be buried in the same place. So that’s where I’ll be.

Here’s a clip from a podcast interview with Nancy Shear about hearing The Philadelphia Orchestra for the first time and falling in love with classical music:

How do you feel about dying? And what do you expect to happen to your “soul” or “spirit” after you die?

Dying is as much a part of nature as the sunrise or sunset or a snowstorm, so I’d better welcome it as an unavoidable act of nature, not to be feared. But being dead is one thing, and dying is quite another. I’m hoping not to be subjected to physical or psychological pain during the process. I will use my three favorite words when contemplating the afterlife: “I don’t know.” That will be my last great adventure.

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

I hope to celebrate my next birthday—the big eight-o—by having a party that will combine a belated book celebration. My book will be one year old around that time. It’s time for me to start writing the next one.

Check out all the Oldster interviews…

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