Explaining Functional Programming to Non-Programmers (It's Just Excel)

A few days ago someone at work asked me what I actually do. Not my job title — they had that — but what functional programming is. I started in on the usual mumble about pure functions and immutability, watched their eyes begin the slow slide toward the exit, and then they rescued both of us with a guess:

“Functional programming… does that mean you write the code yourself, instead of having Claude do it? Is that the thing?”