i can't read anything anymore without checking if claude wrote it

someone sent me a heartfelt birthday message yesterday and my first thought was "three bullet points and an em dash, nice try." its ruined me. i clock the tells everywhere now. the "its not just X, its Y" rhythm. the closing line that ties everything up in a little bow. the word "delve" showing up in a text from my uncle who has never delved into anything in his life. the wild part is half of it is probably real people who just write like that. but the pattern is burned into my brain and i cant turn it off